Unresolved Issues With the Animal Kingdom: Butterflies

Ok. I know what you're thinking. Pigeons are understandable, if a little extreme. Deer? A bit of a stretch. But butterflies? Those pretty winged creatures that grow from caterpillars? The ones that represent hope and beauty and freedom and delicacy and all things feminine and sweet?

Yup. Those are the ones.

They're awful, and here's why:

They are too big to be insects, but conversely too small to be animals. SO WHAT ARE THEY? Creepy. Yuck.

They are fragile. This relates to being a weird size; they can die too easily, but when they do die, their remains are large enough to be seen in disturbing detail. If one of those suckers gets squished on your windshield, you're likely to run off the road and crash as you will be screaming in horror, the way you would be if a bird were to smear itself across your car.

They're specifically designed to look like eyeballs, so that predators think they are large scary beasts. Oh wait. They are.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, they eat the carcasses of dead animals. They are carnivorous tee-ninecy beings which feed on the flesh of grizzly bear leavings. If that doesn't gross you out at least a little bit...I don't know what will. Probably only really brutal serial killer evidence photos.