This is What it Feels Like

Scene one:
moist grass
heated faces
magnetic air
no eye contact.

This is what "doubt" feels like.

Scene two:
cold grass
focused vacant stares
the blurring and smearing of tears
self-loathing bitterness
a warm hand on a fragile knee.

This is what "heartbreak" feels like.

Scene three:
soft fingers
red empty plastic cups
warm hearth
hollow laughter
buttercream frosting
a tight embrace
a horse with blinders.

This is what "denial" feels like.

Scene four:
empty desks
agitated bees
racing heart strings
frozen tongues against their throats.

This is what "anger" feels like.

Scene five:
sleepless eyes
intuition
crowded church
week-old release
tears, heavy tears
wheezing ribcages
familiar room, without the monument.

This is what "grief" feels like.

Scene six:
a placid lake
downy feathers
dizziness
meditation.

This is what "acceptance" feels like.

Scene seven: (blending with Scene eight)
familiar classrooms
static air
attention to detail
a recipe for quiche
tumbling from a stool
bitter buttercream frosting
sincere compliments, given with hesitant eyes
uneasy bridge walk
broken bracelets, broken promises.

This is what "replacement" feels like.

Scene nine:
full belly laughter
maniac grin
harshest words
opportunity
rubber shield.

This is what "vindctive" feels like.

Scene ten:
adrenaline screaming
panic, panic
sick coincidence
hysterical giggling
unecessary guilt
guilty pleasure
new beginning.

This is what "karma" feels like.

Epilogue:
stationary afternoon
dry, rough, patchy
an eggshell
overcooked spaghetti heaped on a plate
an airplane running over the sky
wax sliding over glass
anticipation of improvement
lies, secrets, secrets, lies
warmer eyes
greater risks.

This is what I feel like.