Cardigans

I cannot escape it:
The Daily Whine, with Boyfriend Steak
accompanied by a side dish of offensive behavior,
finished by a dessert of inappropriate laughter.
It does not matter-to you-
if I am in the cafeteria
slowly slurping scalding soup,
or nestled in the library
privately practicing punctuation;
You will trail after me, following me
like a parade of Ugly Ducklings
who believe I am their swan.
I want to glide peacefully across my lake
letting my iniquities settle to the bottom
to become the slime another generation will get between its toes.
You want me to ruffle my feathers again.
You want me to stir the lake with my own toes.
You want to believe that inwardly
I am just like you.
You wear your hearts in your mouths,
tangled in your teeth,
then blush as though you thought they were secrets.
You paint your outsides dark
Not because you are sad, but because you wish you could be.
I do not.
I wear cardigans like lightbulbs.
No one is afraid of the light, the surface of the placid lake;
That's not where you look for secrets.